I have been seriously debating what it is that I paint, not how I paint. My artistic development has been slow but progressive and if im honest I do like what Im producing and how my work is moving forward. The problem is when work is produced for galleries or to "please" do I, as an artist, want to bow to what sells and have enought money to suvive but not be as satisfied artistically or do I carry on regardless.
Thinking about this point of bending to "please" brought me to the same question about life, don't worry Im not going to get too deep, as we are growing up and developing as people human nature is to try and please i.e.a daughter, sister, mother, wife, friend and Im fairly sure that the same rule applies to men. So, does this mean that I can carry on the trend of pleasing by giving the galleries what they ask for? or is it time for change. There is something deep and personal about putting paint on to a piece of paper and showing every body the way that you see the world.
Certainly if I paint to please others I recieve reward in payment and my ego is boosted by the realms of how beautiful that piece of work is and how it is perfect for that particular spot on their living room wall.
Does this ego boost complete the circle,am I,as an artist, still content with pleasing or as I get older am I realizing that the person who started painting all those years ago is most definitely not the person who is painting today.
There has definitely been a medative development in my art, an awarness of how I see the world (or not see it as the case may be). Sometimes when I set up a still life with regular objects from my home it comes to me how little I have seen. I am an artist, always have been and have taken pride on seeing the world as it is. Maybe what I have seen is possibly what I wanted to see?.
I take an art group once a week, when finished the students hang their work around the room so we can have a critique. Then each person in turn makes a comment about their own work and each comment has to be a positive one. The amount of students who find this exercise difficult is unbelievable. The point being the painting as a whole would most probably be acceptable to an onlooker , as we are as people to strangers, but as we take time to get to know the painting / person we find the problem is we accentuate the points that we do not care for instead of looking for the good. We tend to look at the bad bits and conclude that we would never make it to the finish or to the end product because there is so much or so many mistakes to rectify.This brings me to thinking that maybe I need to accept, accept the good in my paintings and accept the bad in my paintings, accept the good in me and accept the bad in me, to see things as a whole without segregation and enjoy all the many facets of a piece of work and of myself.